Sunday, 30 October 2011

Sometimes I Wonder If I Really Matter.

Never quit, never stop pushing yourself to the limits. For pain is temporary, but quitting lasts forever. - Lance Armstrong

     Am I the only one who gets that feeling? The feeling that no one gives a damn, the feeling that you don't really affect your surrounding in the littlest way possible, the feeling that you're nobody. Sure, you're surrounded by people who talk to you, but do they really CARE? That's the feeling I'm having. If I were to die, would they even shed a tear? This feeling haunts me. Consumes me. The feeling that no one actually loves me.

Yet another holiday wasted, I thought, as I was sent back home from my friend's dad. Another holiday spent on nothing but hoping that stupid game console would just get sent to me from one of the lightning strikes that keep on filling the sky. WASTED on hoping that something that had absolutely no chance on coming to me would magically do so. It's like wishing for a downhill slope during the first kilometers of a mountain climb. It's like wishing for the pigs in Angry Birds to suddenly "poof", and you gain 5000 points, when you have no birds left to slingshot.

     I'm getting carried away again. 

     Fudge cake my strawberry nipples, I really hate myself on trusting someone whom I knew wasn't taking me seriously. I mean come on, a deal is a deal, and even a 12-year old knows those kind of ShizNits. I really have to stop putting my full trust on people, God damn it.

So, school's back now, I'm actually looking forward to it so that I could leave this little sh*thole, the only thing interesting about it is the texts I get, and the Mac I adore, and the books I read to entertain, and the words I write to express my ideas, and the bikes I pedal on to take my mind off this sh*thole, and feel the breeze, the usual ShizNits. But I hate this place as a whole. I wish I could just take off and travel the endless roads of the world on my bike.

     But as they say, "A will is nothing more than just a wish without its effort, and therefore would never come true", and there's nothing I can do that could change the fact that I'm trapped in this horrible excuse for a shelter, and I shall be until God-knows-when. By this point you might be wondering what the heck I'm talking about, and I don't feel like telling you either but the people who matters most, will know, and if I don't tell you, you don't really matter that much to me, which is good because none of you actually wants me alive, anyway.

So to all my schoolmates and to other people who gives a shiznit, welcome back to school life, and if you hate it, learn to love it cause there's no way out of it. I really miss my friends so I'm looking forward to tomorrow, plus we're not gonna open our abandoned books anyway so I think it's all gonna be an opportunity to get away from this sh*thole :P

Yeah, you might have noticed a slight change in mood based on the contents of this apparently-useless post. I don't really feel like blogging any damn way, my eye hurts as though someone lit a candle and pointed it there, my head is aching like I just got hit elbowed by Chuck Norris, and the only thing keeping me from hitting my beloved bed is this blog post.

And since I'm ending my blog post right here; I'm hitting my bed right now.
Famous last words - Be who you are. It's the first step towards becoming a better you :)

no h8.

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