Monday, 26 September 2011

How Do I Choose Between My Head and Heart?

When you truly love someone, you do what it takes. Sometimes, that is letting go, no matter how pain .

     I sometimes think I should stop loving you, because if you truly love someone, sometimes you have to do what's best for them. And sometimes, what's best for them is for you to just let go. And this is one of those times.

Firstly, I apologize for not keeping you people updated for the weekend. Yeah, I know, weekends are supposed to be THE TIME to blog, but I've been busy. It's the final festive month weekend, and hopefully, there will be no more open houses on the next. Hey, no hate. I'm still trying my best as I promised, but what can you do if time doesn't permit you to? That's right, nothing.


You mother*beep*ers might notice that from the first part of the topic, I am experiencing some really hard *beep*. I'm not really gonna tell you what it is, about, alright maybe I will, but briefly, and let me tell you that whatever you're trying to do, it's not helping. Except if your name is Cynthia Lorraine Silva.

It's just that the person I love ignores the feeling I have for her, and what use is love when only one of the two feels it? It's like.. chicken rice without the chicken. Like bread and butter without butter. Like fried rice without the rice. Like a guy without a... never mind, I think you should get the point by now.

     I've never cared about the fact that she ignores this feeling. Until now, of course. Seriously, how long can you ignore? You're bound to crack sometime. And, a lot of my friends tell me that they should see my face every time I see her, or the way I forget everything else when she's around, or my smile when we talk, before even considering letting go. But, even if I don't, what's the use, if she doesn't give a *beep* about the feeling I have for her?

As I had quoted on my Facebook status 18 hours ago, "I'm still holding on - but I'm tired of ignoring the fact that you ignore the fact - the fact that I LOVE YOU."

     So, what is the point of one-sided love, anyway? It is ME who stares at her every time she walks by. ME who gets butterflies in my stomach whenever she's around. ME who forgets about everything else when we talk. ME who's got this feeling. Not her. NEVER her, in fact, now that I think of it. And what's the point in telling her how much I love her? It would be a wastage of a precious RM0.10 of prepaid. She wouldn't give a *beep* then, so I don't see why she would now.

In case you're wondering "WHAT NOW?", I'll let the answer remain to myself, and Cynthia, of course. And lastly, to Cynthia if you're reading this, you're not forcing me to do anything. I am acting by my own will, my dear friend :) And, a big thanks for all the help. I owe you all the fortune I could lay my hands on.

P.S. You might notice those *beeps*. My mom reads my blog, in case you're wondering. Good bye, I'm going back to my despair :)

Maybe, all I need is a little patience.

no h8.


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